I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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