I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
