I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize