I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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