I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
