their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize