So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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