You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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