I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize