Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
