just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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