that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
