She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
