ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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