dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Randomize