I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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