How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
