By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just gift wrapped bread.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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