wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
