So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
