I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
