We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
