Only a mothe r could love this liver
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
