the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Randomize
