apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
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