its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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