she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
