I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
