Where did you get a picture of my penis
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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