U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize