She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
