i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
