Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
