Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
