I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
