Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
