I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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