porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
