we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
