Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize