I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Randomize
