My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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