She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
that is very illegal...i love you.
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