Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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