my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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