Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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