Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize