He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
