You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
the day after is always just damage control
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
