lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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