I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
