I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
