no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
