It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
COCAINE IS GR8
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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