So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize