He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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