i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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