girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
