If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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