this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize