as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
