i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
