Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
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